Your greatest strength is your greatest weakness.
At first glance it keep seem a bit odd. But the more you think about personalities it makes total sense. Your strength in one area of your life is great but can create a weakness in other areas. Maybe you are very driven which allows you to thrive at work but it causes you to give less to your family. Or, you are extremely creative which produces amazing things but on the flip side it means you struggle to stick to one thing at a time. The list goes on.
This can be felt in marriage in a major way. Our strengths can often create blind spots. We believe that a strength in one area of our lives is a strength in every area. However, our spouses can see it from all angles.
In this episode you will hear Griffin and Heather talk about specific ways they have handled this in their own marriage. You will hear them be very honest about some of their own blindspots and how they have embraced the fact that their strengths can also come across as a weakness to each other.
Thank you for taking this journey with us! We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time. And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.
Your greatest strength is your greatest weakness.
At first glance it keep seem a bit odd. But the more you think about personalities it makes total sense. Your strength in one area of your life is great but can create a weakness in other areas. Maybe you are very driven which allows you to thrive at work but it causes you to give less to your family. Or, you are extremely creative which produces amazing things but on the flip side it means you struggle to stick to one thing at a time. The list goes on.
This can be felt in marriage in a major way. Our strengths can often create blind spots. We believe that a strength in one area of our lives is a strength in every area. However, our spouses can see it from all angles.
In this episode you will hear Griffin and Heather talk about specific ways they have handled this in their own marriage. You will hear them be very honest about some of their own blindspots and how they have embraced the fact that their strengths can also come across as a weakness to each other.
Thank you for taking this journey with us! We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time. And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.
Hey podcast, bam. This is Griffin and Heather Gilstrap back with a new episode of the real marriage podcast. We want to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.
Speaker 2:I love this past week as he just been sharing on our socials, our news about baby number five, and about moving to North Carolina and just these big things we have coming up, and we really do feel like your family. Um, and we're just, we're so grateful for you and for your kindness. And it's just meant so much to hear from you, especially those you have just said, like, please don't stop the podcast. This has been so awesome to hear that. Um, and you can be praying for us as we're navigating all the details of a lot of things. And especially that, you know, we don't want to stop, but it might look different. Um, we'll keep you updated as we know about that topic. Um, but as we're sharing details, we want to keep you in the know, um, as family, you know, just let me know what's going on. Um, it is officially official. They voted on Griffin and it was a unanimous. Yes, I have been accepted. Yeah, it was, it was really awesome. We watched it, um, the service and I just was like crying in the kitchen. Someone texted me and I was at, I was at church on Sunday at Harbor side, and it's so busy and loud there, which is a good thing for a church to be busy. I did run into a bathroom and like stick it up to my ear on the phone. It was hard to hear. Yeah. But that was my moment becoming a head pastor in a bathroom. I'm sitting on my cell phone. That's amazing. Humbling right off the bat you cried. And my parents were crying. It's really cool. It's just a huge, such a humbling moment. Like just, I'm still trying to, I think in my mind and my heart, I knew this was going to happen at some point, but for it to actually be real is pretty incredible. Well, yeah. And at 33 and 32, and we've known this as what the Lord has for us. We just wondered when, and you know, it's just been, we've shared, it's just been such a process. So it just feels awesome. And I don't think it's everything's fully hit me yet, which is odd for Heather to not have an emotion. I'm really afraid when it does like, babe, just be ready. You haven't really gone too deep end. I think it's almost like you're waiting for something to happen by. Like I think once we move, maybe it's going to get very real. It may be. And I think because there's so many things we have to still figure out looking for things around the house to work on looking at our house tomorrow to inspect it because we sold, we sold our house for a ridiculous amount of money. Crazy. Can't believe what people are paying right now. It is you guys. So when we heard from the Lord basically, and we got a lot of confirmation that this is what Griff Griffin was meant to be in step into all of 2020. I just began. One of my prayers is praying over the next family for this home. And I prayed just really hard over the wife and the mother as I'm scrubbing the floors and cleaning toilets. And I'm like, Lord, I pray, you know that this home can be a blessing, not just an invite, like a, like a property investment that this can be a home that somebody needs. And Lord, I'm literally prepping this home for somebody else, like show me if I'm supposed to do anything for her. And I was just like one, I have fun with this and not pray about it for me. It's we're going to, we know that we're going to give it away or sell it. Um,
Speaker 3:Meanwhile I'm praying for as much money as possible. Heather is very heartfelt and kind. I love it.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what I'd want someone to do for me.
Speaker 3:It's a bit, it's a beautiful thing, but I, don't not too detailed, but we got a letter from the book.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, well, um, during our open house, we had an open house on, we just put on the market on Friday. We had a, no, we had like five showings right after we put it up. It was pretty fast and furious. And we had an open house on Sunday and I was at my mom's watching on my ring app, like kept dying off. And I was like, we were eating just lunch, like casually. I'm like, I'm just going to see what's happening. You know, it's hard when it's going motion detector. It's like, who is it? And I happened to catch it when this family with two young kids walked in by, and I just felt like this stirring in my heart of like, like, I think that's the people who are going to buy it. But I think things like that all the time,
Speaker 3:You're like hopeful for that. But, but it felt,
Speaker 2:But it did feel different. And so I just like prayed over them. I blessed them through my phone. And um, we ended up that, that evening with two offers, not knowing that one of them was them. And then the next day we get a letter from them and they're in a tough spot. And literally everything that I prayed for the year before, um, this like the Lord heard that and honor that, and this home is, is literally everything that they need. It's not just an investment, but for me to even have the, been given the knowledge to know that felt like the Lord being like, I heard your prayers and you're not only being blessed, Heather, but you know, honestly for personally through my whole life for the first time, am I able to bless somebody with, uh, something like, uh, yeah, cause I just didn't, I didn't come from that type of basket.
Speaker 3:It was definitely joking, but I've also been praying for that. We want it to be a win-win. I think that was the goal. Like the way God's blessed us through this process, there's so many different scenarios, but just the timing and how the market is. And this family was literally having to get out of their rental house because their person was selling it in the same day. They have to move out is when we were hoping to close, which is a little later than most people would have asked for. And it just the perfection and the timing and the setup for both of us, they lived down the street. And so, I mean, just the way it's going to be easy to close. It sounds like so God man. Yeah. And we want our lives to be able to impact others around us. And so it was, it was nice to not just think selfishly, because this is such an intense type of thing. And the last time we did this, it was felt intense. This one's been so much different and God's hand of blessing has been,
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's, it's a testimony and it's really powerful. And I have a letter in my head written to that wife. I'm like curious if I should actually write it and like leave it in the house somewhere. No, send it before. Tell me if that's weird. Okay. Or that like make you feel so happy. That would be sweet. But then the other thing we did is we committed to a home in North Carolina. And I don't remember cause I'm pregnant if we've shared that or not yet. Um, but we, we, we have a home it's being built, which is literally one of Heather's dreams. Thank you God, for caring about our dreams brand new house is beautiful. It's um, people from the church keep driving by y'all. If you're listening, you keep driving by and I'm praying over it and sending us pictures please, because it's, it's hard to not be there and be able to like go sneak over and look at it. And yeah,
Speaker 3:No, no. How many miles away are we? So we're getting pictures. This lady sent us a video, which is awesome. But the greatest Southern accent, the kids were laughing at the effects. Yeah.
Speaker 2:When we talk like that back to them, I'm like, Oh, it's kind of disrespectful.
Speaker 3:What Harper said about Harper's
Speaker 2:Like all of a sudden, out of nowhere she goes, does this mean I'm not going to marry someone from Florida? My seven thinking about marriage. I don't pray about it. I don't know. And she's like, am I going to marry someone with an accent? And I'm like, maybe she's like, Oh great. I was just like her seven-year-old thoughts when she think, what do you guys
Speaker 3:Talk about when I'm not around? Why is she, I tell
Speaker 2:Them to marry someone like daddy. That's what I tell them. How sweet am I?
Speaker 3:Yes. It was just, that was her first thought, moving then the boys she's going to marry. So all that to say, things are rolling along.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So we're basically, gosh, it's already, may, can you believe that it's may when this comes out, so, wow. We're a month and a half from me going and you're going to come up sometime, probably in July.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yes. On Saturday, which is before this comes out crazy. Yes, my goodness.
Speaker 2:Can I share with them why he did to the balloon really fast? Yeah. Okay. One last thing. And then we'll get into what we're talking about. Um, really quick. For some reason we have accidentally created this awesome family tradition where everyone goes and picks out a$10 birthday balloon from party city. It was not on purpose, but it's become a thing. And I hope it doesn't last because it's really expensive. But my son, Alicia decided to pick out a balloon and it was Thomas the train. Awesome, great. First boy party. He's actually getting a train table for his birthday. So it was perfect. And then we're on the way home and he's holding this massive balloon. I can't even see his face. I'm like, Alicia, are you so excited to show this to daddy? He goes and then grabs the balloon and bites it and pops a hole in it.
Speaker 3:It's filled with helium
Speaker 2:And he bites it. He goes, Oh, Oh. And I just do this. And I'm like driving like Skyler, do you see the hole? And it's a mess like, Oh my goodness. And so it's duct tape. I try to blow it back up with my air and like put duct tape on it.
Speaker 3:We needed the cameras in the minivan because the things that happened in the things that are said and what you have to do, reaching your arm into the second row and Harper on buckle and grab the food that's rolling around under the chairs like this such a mom life.
Speaker 2:But I just want to share that he bit, the$10 balloon that we had for 20 minutes,
Speaker 3:They have a boy around. It's so different. I love it. I love it. All right. Well, now that we're 10 minutes in, um, we'll transition into our topic. So man, so much going on in our lives, but one of the things we are fascinated about, I think individually, and since we've kind of gotten through our twenties and we've, we're becoming our, a true adult self, I guess you could say, is that a fair way to say it? It's like, we're finally learning who the heck we are and trying to own that and understand it. I we're really fascinated by our personalities. And one of the things like Heather loves the Enneagram. We do personality tests through the church and we just kind of learning about your team members and the strengths and weaknesses and how those blend together. I am convinced that it's incredibly important that in a marriage, you, as an individual, as a husband, as a wife, man, or a woman, it's so important to be self-aware and to really keep understanding, yes, understand your spouse, but really be intentional about learning and owning. It's probably a better word who you really are. And the reason for that is it's so important for you to know how you project onto other people and how you act your decisions, the way you think, the way you operate just completely affects everyone around you. And it's so true in marriage. And so one of the things Heather, and I think it makes sure this is true, you and I have kind of discovered your greatest strength can also be your greatest weakness. And when you say like in, in your life, you know, like we'll get into some of the different stuff that kind of, we've kind of understood about ourselves, but almost what is the best parts about you? Some people have made it seem like a weakness, but never, never also realized like, no, that's how you're made. There's so much good about that, but it's really how you use it and how you operate within how you're made and who you are that matters the most.
Speaker 2:I think we spent like the first five years of our marriage, you helping me and healing wounds from my childhood and from like relationships mainly with women, um, of making me feel really bad about how I'm wired,
Speaker 3:Who you are, is not good or
Speaker 2:Convenience too much is basically I felt like we spent five years going back over those things and you encouraging me with no, like this is not all bad. And it's, and it w it was huge and it took time and it took a lot of effort on your part and kindness on your part. And I think a lot of us recognizing where we're strong and where we're weak has come out of relational issues with other people and circumstances we've been put in whether it's family members or at work or, or things from our past that we're like talking about as a couple. And then things between us big time where it's caused conflict or where after the honeymoon phase wore off. And we're like, huh? You do that. I see this
Speaker 3:Well, it's you feel it? It's not the cuteness wears off. And it's like, Whoa, that's do you know what happens honestly is we get very comfortable with who we are. And I think some people would just stop caring how it comes off, because like we've, we're in, we're in it where we're committed. You almost like your guard comes down. And I don't think we're always aware that how we can be an act and how we make decisions can really impact the person right next to us. We almost lose our like awareness of the impact. It can,
Speaker 2:You have to have humbleness to care that it's impacting the other person and that maybe it's not the best way.
Speaker 3:Well, and that's really the thing. So I think we need to have self-awareness of who we are, but it's really, this is really about growth. And so we're, we're intentional about like discovering, you know, who we are and what that brings to the table and kind of what that takes away from marriage or from how we want to be and who we want to be. But this is really a question of, do you want to grow? And do you want to grow individually? Which ultimately means you're going to grow as a couple. And I think therapists, if you read any like psychology books, if you read leadership books, self-awareness is one of the first and foremost things they'll say is specifically leadership books. They will say, you need to lead yourself before you can lead anyone else. And a part of leading yourself as being aware of your strengths and weaknesses so that you can utilize your strengths in the best way and make sure you compensate for your weaknesses. So it's not detrimental to yourself and the people around you. And so I read that in leadership, it was like, why wouldn't we think about that in marriage? Because this is the ultimate partnership that has to work. I've got people in my life right now about to maybe go through divorces and, you know, years and years in children that all this stuff. And it's like, man, we have to be super intentional that we're growing and we're growing together.
Speaker 2:If you're not growing in your marriage and that's not strong, your job is going to suffer. Yeah. And all the other things, you're like everything stems from your home, from this central base,
Speaker 3:Whether you think or see that, or not that this is the foundation, so you can thrive outside of your home. But ultimately this has got to get better and better and better. And so there's like different examples, right? Of like, let let's throw out some, some concepts of like, what are some examples of strengths that are also weaknesses? Like what do you think that could look like?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So if you're trying to figure out yourself really fast. Yeah. I have some examples. So you could be a high achiever, but unable to enjoy the moment. Um, you could be a highly adaptable person, but you lack structure and consistency. Um, you could be super empathetic, but you lack personal boundaries or, um, another one is you can be energetic, but restless and anxious. So the negative is directly related to the positive and it, and they, they go together. Like they are like the positive and the negative Nate. It is the same.
Speaker 3:And it's weird, right. Because a lot of it's how we're made to. So you can be, honestly, this is too sad, but I just keep thinking of Robin Williams. And I know, but, but it's like, it's someone that stands out to me because, and I don't know the psychological stuff. And obviously he dealt with some very difficult things, but it's someone that could make everyone around him happy, but ultimately like, couldn't find it for himself. You know what I mean? And was almost lonely in that. And so I just think we have to, we have to approach it and, and continuing to fully understand these things about ourselves so that we can really make sure the weakness doesn't overcome us.
Speaker 2:Well, the weakness is there, whether you are aware of it or not. And so I think there's power and becoming really aware so that you know what to do with it. And then when you start to slip into your strengths, becoming your weakness in a circumstance or a situation, because you think your strength is going to fix every problem or wherever relational thing or every circumstance. And it starts to turn into a weakness. You're aware you're self-aware and you go, wait a minute. Maybe me being really empathetic right now is not the right move to make.
Speaker 3:Do you think, we always realize that our strengths can also be weaknesses? Yeah,
Speaker 2:No I didn't. Or vice versa. I thought, I thought MI one of mine was just a problem. Cause that's how it was, it was words that came
Speaker 3:Out. It was always spoken out. It was spoken
Speaker 2:At me as this is an annoyance. This is too much like, this is a bad part of you and you need to change and never did anyone ever in my life tell me it was okay until you, so we had to unpack like 15, 20 years
Speaker 3:And circumstances and like relationships and people and words that have stuck with you for years, which, which is interesting that it became yourself voice and anything would happen. And you would be thrown back into that negative place. Right? When in turn, it's how you're made God made you this way for a reason and for a purpose. Right? And so that becomes a very like, Whoa,
Speaker 2:It's a different approach. And if that triggered you and you felt that right there, like this is your chance to not be a victim to that. Like you don't have to be a victim to something your mom or dad said about you. That as I just was sharing a little bit of mine, if that triggered something in your heart, like, I know so many people that are living out of that and they're acting as victims and you're wasting your time and your life and you don't have, which you just don't have to, you don't have to. And you helped me a ton overcome that. It's going to be in my book. That's coming, you guys,
Speaker 3:Oh, there you go. Teaser. But that's what I think marriage really is about is this partnership, because it was almost not insurmountable for you, but it was, uh, difficult for you within yourself because you felt it. And so I would look at it and go, like, why do you think that way? Yeah. Cause I was outside of those emotions and I almost challenged those thoughts. Right. And had the patience to kind of approach it in a way that hopefully
Speaker 2:Right. And, but I also think knowing what you're bad at is just as important as knowing what you're good at. Um, so I was actually thinking of our kids and right now, um, all three of our girls are trying soccer and I mean, not by force, but just because, you know, we find it important to, you need to try what mommy, daddy, and, um, all three of them are different. And after like a month we can see who's just naturally really good at it or not. And so we got Harper, my oldest, who is just very, they're all athletic yard, it's just different. And so Harper is very athletic. Um, she has the mind, she sees things. She sees a lot like Griffin, but the con the, um, competitive and the aggressiveness, she's not a huge fan of that. And then we got Paisley, God bless her. She is just like, I want wanna, I don't want to do like the balls coming at her. And she kinda like twinges, like, no. And, um, and she'll be, I scored four goals if you did. She's like, come on. My team did. I'm like, Oh, she's doing that sky our four year old. And she is just crushing it. She's just naturally just doing amazing. And so I'm sharing all that to say that like, we want them as parents. You want your kids to try things. You want them to try and trying something and failing isn't failure. If you're never meant to do it, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's not, if Paisley realizes like this isn't for me, I will never, I don't want her to ever believe, well, I failed at it cause I'm not good at soccer, which she really might be if she warms up to it. But right now it just doesn't seem like that's it for her. And that's okay. But it's like, but if you try something and you fail or it doesn't fit or it's not it, or I don't know that doesn't mean it's failure. Like I think it's a success actually, when you find out this isn't for me, I'm going to check this off the list. Oh, this is a weakness for me. That's a success because you just figured out something about yourself. It's just not like, when you think about these things with your spouse or personally, don't I just, I share that. And it's a little bit different cause that with talents and gifts, but it was more the failing. Like you're not failing when you find out what you're weak at and where you struggle it, that's not failure. That's a, it's a wind wind
Speaker 3:To overcoming a problem and solving it is identifying it. And it doesn't like we all have them. What you said earlier is so important. It's like the weaknesses are there. The problem is some of, sometimes I won't say some of us, I think all of us at times are a little too prideful to see it or to even want to go there. And there's, you know, like the social media, Instagram culture, where we feel like we have to have it all together and portray that like in your marriage, you gotta be able to be weak and wrong and not completely perfectly put together. And the other word you said was humble. Just like, man, ready to understand. I don't have it all together.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I did that wrong. I don't think I'm good at that.
Speaker 3:But there's some times where in relationships where you're like, you're going to battle it out to be right. And it just, it can create, it can create such a wedge because you may think how you are is right. But if it's not going and what items using the kids vibing, what am I talking about? If it's not translating into your spouse with your spouse and it's a rub in the wrong way and it's pushing them away, even if you think it's okay and right, that's a problem, like how it's coming across and how you're communicating or how you're pushing forward with something. You have to be willing to see it from the other side, I guess. So let's talk about, I guess we need to get into maybe a few of ours for the next seven minutes. What's one, I guess, from your own self, you, you that maybe a little bit earlier, maybe there's another one. What, what's a strength. That's also a weakness in your life. If we were to be transparent,
Speaker 2:I don't know which one to pick Griffin may list for me.
Speaker 3:The one that I love the most is you are a creative visionary, but you never look at the price tag. That is a big,
Speaker 2:And I get really sad about that, but that's no he's been, that's true, but that's not serious serious. Um, that is problem though. Um, I have a high, I have a expensive tastes and it's really a bummer. I think I'll talk about, um, I I'm, uh, okay. One of the things about me is I'm, I'm incredibly driven. I am disciplined. I don't need a gym membership. I love them. Um, if I'm, if I want to do something, I'm going to do it and no one's going to stop me and I, and that's helped me. I think I had to learn that, um, grow it just a lot of my childhood and things that happened with my family. Also growing up in a school that didn't have girls teams, I literally put on the boys team. So I was like, if I want to start, I have to beat boys. And I was like, fine, done. Like, and it just, wasn't a question of
Speaker 3:Fear and you're very driven. You're a hundred percent all in dedicated. I'm going to do this well to the highest level possible.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I had, you know, I've torn my ACL. I've had four knee surgeries in college and I had to get back in a certain amount of months to not, to not lose my starting spot. And I was like, okay, great, thanks for the deadline. Like, I'll be there and I never missed it. And no one ever took it. And if anyone tried, I was going to make sure they knew, like you're never getting my spot.
Speaker 3:So what's the flip side of that to where it's, it can be a detriment.
Speaker 2:Well, I think, I assume other people think the same way
Speaker 3:You have that same expectation of drivenness on the people around them.
Speaker 2:And I also have, uh, I'm very, um, I guess I could say driven in the way. I love people and friendships and, and I think the detriment is I put expectations on people. If I'm going to love you this way, then you should love me back this way. And I learned some hard lessons this past year with that, with some friendships of, that's not how it works,
Speaker 3:Not everyone's capable or able in, even in a season to give a hundred percent towards you the way you would hope in the way you are ready and willing to do that.
Speaker 2:Right. And even friends, I have that like, it's like, they have goals, they have dreams. And I'm like, I don't get it. Just go for it. Like do it. And there, and they'll have reasons why I'm like, I don't understand, like you just need to do it. You want this? Like, go get it. And I just want to push them. Like,
Speaker 3:It reminds me one time we were at like the big slides at a, at a playground. Was it Skylar Harper first? And I'm like being super cautious and she just pushes her shove is probably the right word, this thing. And it's like, it probably works. She got, she got used to it, but I was like my face probably won't you just full extension, stiff arm to the back of our child. Not ready to go. It's like,
Speaker 2:What's really awesome. Is she trusts me with having to push her now at seven, like you are the
Speaker 3:Voice. I'm like, Oh, it's okay, sweetie, come here.
Speaker 2:I know you're going to do this. And like that courage is doing it afraid let's go. And like, she just did a speech meet and Oh, it was so tough. But yeah, I don't get into all that, but I had to push her to do it and she did it and she did it afraid.
Speaker 3:She absolutely did tell him about, um, when I'm sick and you know, you're driven and a fighter of Heather's sick or like tired or pregnant. Yeah. She's she will fight through it. But that is the detriment. Like sometimes you need to stop and rest. I need to learn how to rest. It's like, you almost are proving. I can do it where I'm like, I don't need to prove anything. I'm going to go. Then I'm going to go lay down.
Speaker 2:Like tell me this week. For real, your husbands are just like, Oh, your nose stuffy. Like when Griffin would first get sick, I would just say it was me. I was mean I have no compassion
Speaker 3:When I do wrong. I'm like, I apologize.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, it's a hundred and you're fine. Come on. Do the dishes. I don't know. I've gotten better. I feel like you have
Speaker 3:A tough conversation. I
Speaker 2:Apologize. I need to have more compassion with you and you're sick. But like, I can't expect everyone to physically handle things the way I handle them. Just because I can handle it one way.
Speaker 3:Doesn't mean you always have to.
Speaker 2:Well, that's something I think spiritually, you mentioned it when you said prove where I feel like the Lord has been teaching me. Like, you can go ahead and do it all, but I've never asked you to and you can go ahead and yeah, I can. I'm talented in a few things. It's like, I could go and do this and this and this and this and this and this, but good luck. You're going to be burnout. And, and God, I just feel like, as he's just been, like, I've never told you to do those things. And so what's powerful with it being your strength is you learn your, what your lanes are. And when you have, when this, if this is your weakness and this resonates with you, and there's a good chance you're doing too much, you're, you're too disciplined because you can do it all. Even, uh, a wife, not letting her husband do things for her. I was to say, cause I don't need you. I'm a woman, all that kind of stuff. Like he's like, no, like, but let him, let him serve. You. Let him love you. Let him, like, it's an, it's a beautiful thing. When you can allow someone to serve you. It's, it's a humbling thing in itself. Jesus, let people do things for him. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3:Sure. Well, the other thing is, is it, it almost causes your family to take you for granted because I go, Heather's just going to go.
Speaker 2:She's just going to go do it anyway. That's what she does. And then you'll start to do it with bitterness and huffing and puffing. So learn your lanes
Speaker 3:In a long time on yours. Let's queue. We've got like a few minutes left. Um, I, I think for me, probably I'm trying to think broadly, cause it can encapsulate a lot. I I'll go with this one. I'm a very logical, like thoughtful thinker. You know, I like to think through things and make informed decisions and uh, be very wise with our money and how we move forward and trying to plan for the future and make sure we take care of business now. But I, I think that is a strength because it's, it's allowed us to move forward in our lives without we're not mortgaging the future by just making bad decisions now kind of thing, thinking long-term. And so there, I can always justify that, but I think it limits me in a lot of different ways. It puts such strong parameters around how I think and how I want to make decisions and how I want to live when I live with this very creative, visionary, emotional person that colors our life in a beautiful way. Right. Uh, I think even in we've had this even in the past two months where, when I think a certain way, I come strong with it and I don't even realize it. It's just like, I'm very sure about how I think, because I'm comfortable with it and I can justify it and, and kind of not win the argument, but kind of win the discussion to where it presses down. People like you around me that are gonna take it further and make it better and more beautiful. And outside of the box where I can just be so stringent sometimes in my thinking, but I put parameters around things that don't always need them
Speaker 2:Well, being logical and being, playing it safe, never seems silly or never seems wrong. So when I, when you would, when we'd be discussing a decision or doing something and I bring the creative big idea and you bring the logical and then I say something else, and then you come in stronger. Yeah. It's almost like a, well, of course it's going to always make sense. And then I get nervous of like, man, I probably cause if I push mine and it's wrong, like
Speaker 3:Right. It's so a Dallas is the flames, so I can make a good or a decent decision. But sometimes like you have a great decision,
Speaker 2:But it takes risk most of the time, right.
Speaker 3:To live that way, you know, we need to not be so predictable. We need to get out of the routine and like mess with the budgets, whatever, you know,
Speaker 2:Sometimes, sometimes.
Speaker 3:But I was even thinking about that with like relationships I put around my time and maybe don't give enough towards allowing for deeper relationships with people and things like that. So I think that for me has become very aware. Yeah. I still struggle at times with it because it's natural. But what I love is that you and I are at least trying to get to the point where it's like, man, who we are naturally, isn't always a weakness, which is funny. That's in your case. And for me, it's definitely not always a strength, even though I'm comfortable with it, even though I think it's right. It's like no, be open to the other side of it and make sure I'm not projecting myself in a way at my spouse that presses you down and creates a weakness for us. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. I think that's all we have time for. We spent a long time talking about our life changes. No, that's good. Did you want to talk more about mine? No, I was going to bring up my other one. No, because I felt like it was relatable. Okay. We'll save that for another time. Okay. That's good. Well, I hope that's helpful. I something Heather and I think as we kind of mature into our marriage and we're 10 years in, we just want to get better. We just want to get better. And so one thing I want to encourage you with Heather wrote a book called seasons. If you have not seen it, it's on Amazon. If you type in Heather Gill, strap seasons, you can find it. It's a great mother's day gift, which is coming up. A lot of you, women are buying it for yourself. If you have kids, if you're preparing to have kids, seasons of motherhood, we'd love for you to find that we have our website, real marriage, podcast.com with blogs and different resources on there. You can check out as well. We love that. You're listening. We love that you guys are on this journey with us and thank you for tuning in until next time. This is the real marriage.
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